Miguel Cabrera re-signed with the slash-and-burn Marlins today for the lowly sum of $472K. Four hundred and seventy-two?

What, they couldn't spring for the extra $28K to make it an even half-million?

And they had the gall to add a provision should he find himself in the minors this year. If that should happen, Cabrera will make $296K. The man hit 33 home runs each of the last two seasons, and they couldn't guarantee the $176K difference? That wouldn't pay the weekly liquor bill for Jeffrey Loria's suite at Joe Dolphin Player Stadium-agig.

Besides what series of events could occur to drive Cabrera off the major-league roster? The Marlins have basically a Triple-A lineup going into 2006. Cabrera's the only guaranteed starting position player with any experience. Retreads Pokey Reese and Wes Helms have plenty of experience but will be battling rookies for playing time. Cabrera could pull a Glenn Davis this season and the Marlins would still be hard-pressed to replace him.

That aside, the Marlins have now signed all of their players for 2006. Now we can complete the payroll calculations that I started investing as the Marlins cut veterans (here and here).

I originally estimated Cabrera and Willis would get $5 M each, under the assumption that both were eligible for arbitration. Cabrera missed the cut for arbitration—he only played 87 games in 2003. After Willis signed for $4.35M, I reset Cabrera to $3M.

Boy, was I wrong.

In any event, we now have the final numbers for the non-rookie players. It gets grimmer and grimmer each time I do this. Here is a comparison between last year's and this year's payroll:

So there you have it. The Marlins could possibly pay just under twice the league minimum payroll (that is, 25 times the league minimum, $327K, or $8.175M). And that's assuming that higher-paid players like Reese and Helms make the team. With the current crop, I estimate the payroll at $16,291,000, but that would fall to at least $15,310,000 when they get down to 25 players. The net effect would be that Florida would cut 75% of their payroll from last year.

That would put the Marlins at the fifth lowest payroll since 1995 and the lowest since the Expos and Pirates in 1998:

But if that's not enough, let's shift the focus back to the Cabrera low-balling. Cabrera batted .323 with 33 homers and a .947 OPS last season. I took a look at the lowest salaries doled out to players coming off of similar seasons (from 1985 players batting at least .300 with a minimum of 30 HR and a .900 OPS). Cabrera's is the fifth-lowest deal and the worst in twelve years. Here are the only men meeting the criteria who made less than one million dollars the next year:

When one considers that Cabrera isn't a one-year flash in the pan, that he has hit 33 home runs each of the last two seasons, the Marlins' offer is even more unbelievable. Only two players coming off consecutive thirty-homer seasons have been rewarded with less money, and they were at least 18 years ago. Only 13 have made $1.5M or less out of the 225 players who qualify:

Cabrera should get battle pay for the atrocities he will see on the field this year. The only thrills for the Marlins will be measured by how badly the perform. Will they be worse than the 2003 Tigers? The 1962 Mets? The 1899 Cleveland Spiders? Will Dontrelle Willis have a season on par with Steve Carlton in 1972? Carlton won a Cy Young despite how woefully his Phils performed that year (he collected 27 of their 59 wins). How far down can their attendance go, triple digits per home game?

At least the Marlins fans' (if there are any left) loss will be my gain. I can't wait for the historic pain to begin. Dare I dream that they will out-bad even the Spiders? Dare. Dare.