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What Next, Bernie Near Beer
2002-09-07 23:50
by Mike Carminati

What Next, Bernie Near Beer Brewer?

In a move that with its triviality shows that the baseball world is definitely back to normal after the near-work stoppage, PETA is requesting that the Milwaukee Brewers add a veggy dog or "soysage" to its traditional, on-field, meat-costume race. In a related story, ARMPITS (All-Meat Products for the Incorruptible Treatment of Society) expressed its sorrow for both the meat combatants and the human spectators forced to watch. Meat-racer Colonel Corn was unavailable for comment.


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