I've finally figured Joe out. I know, I've had my theories before but now I'm sure. First, we here at Mike's B-Ball Rants love the Joe Morgan and we love the Joe Morgan Chat Sessions even more. Joe says the most pithily profound and the most gelastically laughable things you will ever hear, often at the same time.
So my new theory is that Joe is the living embodiment of the Tripartite Soul, that the soul of man is pulled in three directions at once. This was perhaps most famously portrayed by Sigmund Freud's (or as Bill and Ted dubbed him, the "Frood dude") id, ego, and superego tripartite theory that is the basis of psychology, i.e., the body, the self, and society's mores.
Its roots are in Pythagoras of Samos's theory of three types of man. He chose an early Olympiad to expound on these theories, proving that Tim McCarver's sports pontificating has an historical basis:
Life... may well be compared with these public Games for in the vast crowd assembled here some are attracted by the acquisition of gain, others are led on by the hopes and ambitions of fame and glory. But among them are a few who have come to observe and to understand all that passes here. It is the same with life. Some are influenced by the love of wealth while others are blindly led on by the mad fever for power and domination, but the finest type of man gives himself up to discovering the meaning and purpose of life itself. He seeks to uncover the secrets of nature. This is the man I call a philosopher for although no man is completely wise in all respects, he can love wisdom as the key to nature's secrets.
Pythagora also held that the soul transmigrated from one being to the next. He once stopped a man from beating a dog because he heard an old friend's voice in the dog's yelp-certainly he was an influence on Joe.
Next, Socrates stole the tripartite soul gig, changing the view from the macro- to the microcosm by relating it to an individual's soul. Socrates supported the Pythagorean approach while dialectically playing Zeno and the Stoics like saps, but they got the last laugh-poison hemlock and all. Socrates or Plato or whoever we think created this junk said that there are three elements that rule our being: reason which desires wisdom and truth, spirit which desires public acclaim and success, and body which desires money, material gain, and booty calls.
Finally, the Christians got into the act incorporating (forgive the pun) the tripartite soul into the Godhead Trinity: the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost, which Andy Partridge of XTC once called, "just somebody's unholy hoax"-Go figure.
I will give the last word to the Arts. First, William Shakespeare whose Hamlet gave birth to the modern man, a.k.a. Bob Denver.
From Hamlet, III. 1-Ophelia:
O, what a noble mind is here o'erthrown!
The courtier's, soldier's, scholar's, eye, tongue, sword,
Th' expectancy and rose of the fair state,
The glass of fashion and the mould of form,
Th' observed of all observers, quite, quite down!
Of course, this all culminated in Madonna's Like A Prayer, the epitomizing moment of our culture.
So, you see it's all perfectly normal. It's not Joe's fault. He's just depraved on account of he's deprived...by society.
Michael, Tulsa, OK: Do you think a healthy Scott Rolen would have made that much of a difference in the SF/STL series so far?
Joe Morgan: No. Miguel Cairo hit well the first game. He did as much as Rolen could have done. And Rolen wouldn't have been able to hit Schmidt either yesterday. But over seven games, Rolen's absence would make a difference.
[Mike: Right, and what may make more of a difference is the roster spot that Rolen is occupying while sitting on the bench chewing the fat with Kannon Kile.]
Peter (Richmond VA): Joe, What chance do you think the Giants have in a World Series? And do you think Barry Bonds has 'redeemed' himself in the eyes of those who claim he is not capable of being a good post-season player? (I'm not one of them for the record).
Joe Morgan: Barry Bonds doesn't need to redeem himself. He is the most feared player in the game. They will not allow him to do things other players get a chance to do. But I do think the Giants will win, and Bonds will be Bonds. It's just a matter of whether they will pitch to him or not.
[Mike: Right again. And by the way, they won't pitch to him, Tony LaRussa's bloviating notwithstanding.]
Kristen (New York): Down 2-0, it's not looking too good for the St. Louis Cardinals. What adjustments will be made for Game 3? Do you think they can surprise and come from behind?
Joe Morgan: The Giants have just played better. I don't see St. Louis coming back and beating the Giants. They played well against Atlanta. They are doing the same against St. Louis. And I pick the Giants to beat whoever they would play in the World Series.
[Mike: Well, when you win you do play better. Does that mean that the Giants will continue to play better and win? I don't know. I admire Joe his certainty.]
Jeff (Cleveland): Hey Joe, After years of seeing Kenny in Cleveland, we know he is a complainer at the plate on just about every pitch that is not in his favor. Do you feel he was a little short-fused the other night. Sure the pitch was on the inside part of the plate, but if he had stayed exactly in the same place, it wouldn't have hit him anyway. I think it is just another instance of Kenny not knowing the proper way to handle himself at the plate.
Joe Morgan: First of all, the pitch was closer than people described it. And when you have a 90-mph fastball coming toward your head, you'd have a different opinion. He may have overreacted, but when you get a fastball thrown that close, you don't just smile.
[Mike: Bitter, Jeff? I know Kenny was no Willie Mays Hayes, but he gave you Wahoo fans some good years. Let it go.
By the way, Joe, the pitch was closer to Lofton than advertised because he was hanging over the plate and for whatever reason did not move. All he had to do was turn slightly away. This is not a rare occurrence in a game. It may not have even been a message pitch as was assumed at the time.]
Joel-Twins Fan: What do you think about tonight's game? Do you think Milton will pitch well enough for the Twins to beat another lefty? GO TWINS!
Joe Morgan: With the Twins starters, you don't know what you will get. I didn't think Mays would pitch as well as he did. Milton has had a sore knee. It may not hold up under stress. We don't know. You don't know what you will get from the Twins starters other than Brad Radke.
[Mike: Well, it's true that the Twins rotation wasn't great during the year, but they are a veteran group, not an unknown entity. They had injuries and were continually baled out by their superior bullpen. Now everyone is healthy and they are pitching well, but now their bullpen is letting them down. Oh, and why is Radke so special, he had a 4.72 ERA this year.]
Ian (Scotland): Do you think Bonds might consider retirement if the Giants won the World Series?
Joe Morgan: No. He is still playing at the top of the game. There is no reason to quit. Plus, he's still chasing Hank Aaron.
[Mike: Ian, have you played any Sean Connery/Iggy Pop trivia while shooting people with BB guns lately? You know what I mean mate.
On top of his game?!? He's on top of everyone's game. He has just had two of the greatest offensive years in baseball history.]
Mark (Oscoda): Joe, Do you like the hiring of Alan Trammell as manager for the Detroit Tigers? It seems to be a good fit, but they new it would create a lot of PR. Tigers fans hope he can manage. He has a lot of house cleaning to do.
Joe Morgan: I don't know about Trammell's baseball knowledge or managerial skills. The Tigers had to do something, and his hiring has caused people in Detroit to get excited.
[Mike: So did building Comerica. That's the problem, everything this ballclub does is to create a little excitement short-term. When the excitement wears off they are still the same deplorable team.]
Pete Morrow, Plymouth, MN: Joe - With the way Jacques Jones has struggled in the postseason, and the Twins facing a lefty tonight, do you bump him down to 7th or 8th in the order and move Guzman to 1?
Joe Morgan: Knowing Ron Gardenhire, who deals with his players well, I'm not sure he will move anybody because he is worried about their psyche. I don't think he will move Jones to the bottom. He may move him a spot down. I don't see Gardenhire making a lot of changes.
[Mike: How will Jones' fragile psyche react if he is blamed for blowing the ALCS? Remember Donnie Moore? If dropping Jones down will help the team, Gardenhire should do it. The only problem is then who leads off and will he do any better.
tony (Fairfield): The A's have lost 3 years in a row in the 5 game series. I think a 7 games series is a better representation of the better team. I hear rumors about going to 7 games in the division series. Is this going to happen and what do you think is better, 5 games or 7 games?
Joe Morgan: Seven is a better test. But I don't think that will happen in the Division Series. It would go to late in the season. And it would also mean cutting regular-season games. I don't see that happening. The A's lose because they are two-dimensional. They have good pitching and try to hit home runs. They don't use speed and don't try to manufacture runs. They wait for the home run. They are still waiting. [Mike: Why? It's two games not twenty. Add in a travel day So the season goes three day's longer, big deal.
The A's, by the way, have had speed in the past and still lost. They can hit the homer, but really rely on walks and getting on base. They did not accomplish that this postseason (.333 OBP). That's why they lost along with a 5.51 bullpen ERA.]
Ryan Kelly: Joe, you and Harold Reynolds and I have had San Francisco doing postseason damage all year. How do you like their sweep chances with Ortiz and Hernandez going against Finley and possibly Morris at PacBell?
Joe Morgan: When they beat Morris, it sent a signal to the Cardinals that if Morris can't beat them, who can? I think the Cardinals know that as well. I think the Giants will win. I don't know if it will be seven games or fewer, but they will win.
[Mike: True, they beat the Cards' ace and that carries some cachet. But does it mean that Morris and the Cardinals are going to roll over for the rest of the series (Morris was 2-0 with a 0.56 ERA vs. the Giants in the regular season)? Please.
Rich (York, NE): Should the Twins stay with their lineup vs. lefty Washburn?
Joe Morgan: Good question. I thought they should have against the A's because they won Game 1. Washburn is different in that he doesn't throw a lot of curveballs. They should stay with the same lineup in that he doesn't throw a lot of curves and sliders to left-handers.
[Mike: Washburn is different, but they should stick with the same lineup? Perfect logic.]
Evan- NY: Do you think there would've been the same revenue sharing system if the negotations took place after the Angels and Twins got further than the Braves and Yankees?
Joe Morgan: Good point. Probably not. There wouldn't have been enough justification to do certain parts of the revenue sharing.
[Mike: If the CBA had not been signed by now and the players had not struck, the owners would be smacking their lips right now. Who knows what they would have imposed in the offseason.]
Tom (New York): Is Dusty Baker a real candidate for the New York Mets job even though the Giants are two wins away from going to the World Series?
Joe Morgan: He's a candidate for some job other than the Giants. He has had problems with them second-guessing. I think Dusty wants to move on. I don't think he will be back with the Giants, although he is the best manager in the game.
[Mike: I don't Baker will be back with the Giants, although his favorite color is blue.]
Joe Morgan: That's all the questions I can take for now. There have been a lot of surprises in the Division Series, but not any surprises in the LCS so far.
[Mike: Two wild cards leading their LCS's, that's not surprising?]