As Long as They Keep Godzilla Away from MSG (So That We Do Not Get a Sequel to That Horrible Matthew Broderick Movie)

The Yankees while threatening to cut dental plans for office employees are reportedly set to sign Japanese import Hideki "Godzilla" Matsui to a monster (get it?) contract. The deal is purported to be in the neighborhood of 2 years at $12 M per. Matsui will occupy third base while the Yankees figure out if Drew Henson is their future there.

Meanwhile, free agent Robin Ventura with his 27 home runs, 93 runs batted in, and stellar defense, not to mention paltry (by Yankee standards) price tag of $8.5 M, is feverishly waiting by his phone to get his Yankee Stadium call-back. His agent already has stated that they accept that the deal would be negotiated with Henson's ascension in mind. Sorry, Robin. Oh, and about your dental plan...