The Chicago Cubs hired Dusty Baker (finally) today. Theirs has been a courtship that took longer to consumate than Lara and Dr. Zhivago's (or Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy's for the Victorian crowd). Earlier today, Baker was still haggling over the wet bar accoutrements in his office. He signed a four-year contract for an estimated $14 to $16 M, plus an unlimited supply of toothpicks.
No word yet on the negotiations between son Darren and the Cubs. Scott Boras is handling Darren's affairs now, and among his projects is a re-make of the Gary Coleman vehicle, Out of Leftfield. The storyline and title have been changed to reflect Darren's incident in the World Series. The working title is Out at Home. Darren has also been lighting up the dinner-theater circuit.