The Millar's Tale

Kevin Millar has suddenly become the popular kid at school, and instead of pursuing an exile to baseball's Elba, i.e. Japan, he is now hankering for a hunk of American dough according to ESPN. Apparently, what I thought was just a standard stalking on Theo Epstein's part is actually a mutual, deeply-felt hunger. If any person here knows of any lawful reason why this GM and player should not be joined together in marriage, let him now speak, or forever hold his peace. I now pronounce you...

Hold on a second. Those Montagues and Capulets, the Japanese Leagues and MLB, respectively, may have to weigh in before these star-crossed lovers can start registering at Filene's Basement. There is a little issue of a contract that Millar signed with Chunichi:

"He is a member of the Chunichi Dragons," Chunichi president Junnosuke Nishikawa told Kyodo News. "This has been confirmed by the baseball commissioners in both Japan and the United States. Coming to Japan is the only option for him."

Apparently, Millar has channeled the inner patriot and now cannot play overseas during a time of war:

"I don't want to leave this country in a time of war," he told the paper. "I want to be in the big leagues. It would be a dream come true to be in a Boston uniform on opening day."

Oh, how heroic! Kevin may just have found out the particulars of World War II-you see, Japan was on the other side in that fracas. Kevin, first the country is not at war and, given the opinion of a large segment of the population, may not be for some time. Second, how does your performance on the Red Sox aid the war effort? If it boils down to his wanting to be home to witness the xenophobic furor, then they do get CNN in Japan, too, Kevin. Millar also misguidedly threatened not to report to Japan in order to join his now-beloved Red Sox. Millar's rights, however, would still be Chunichi's to do with as they want. Sorry, Kevin.

Of course, none of this has nothing to do with the cash that the Red Sox may be willing to impart to Millar now that acquiring him is their most fervent offseason desire. I'm sure that Millar would be willing to play for free to support the war effort. God bless, Mr. Millar.