Now I see our lances are but straws,
Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare,
That seeming to be most which we indeed least are.
—William "Author" Shakespeare, The Taming of the Shrew

So the Phils actually played a game. Freddy Garcia actually pitched in a Phillies uniform. And the results are the same as they have been all season. The Phils lost in resounding style to the Mets, 8-1, with Moises Alou alone outscoring (2-1) and out-homering (2 to zip) the entire Phils lineup.

Garcia lasted only four and two-thirds innings and though he struck out six he also allowed eight hits and three runs, all earned, including one of the Alou dingers. So starting pitching, one of the highly touted Phillie strengths when the season began, continues to be a severe weakness for the Phils. Their starter ERA is 5.93, worst in the National League.

Even though the Phil starters are striking out almost a batter an inning, the rest of their results are nowhere near as positive. Aside from Cole Hamels and Jamie Moyer, the Phil starters have been deplorable yet far:

Meanwhile, their known problem of having absolutely no bullpen has been a problem, yes—a 4.89 ERA—but not to the same extent as the starters (though a projected 0-41 record is kind of bad):

Look at all those unearned runs. Thanks Stand Pat for signing Wes Helms.

Anyway, tonight Matt Smith watched his ERA go from 3.86 to 13.50. He also allowed three walks to run his total to five in 2.2 innings. Oh, and he has yet to strike out a batter. He projects to 27 walks and (of course) no strikeouts for the season. That would be an all-time "record" for walks without a strikeout:

And even though all of the stranded baserunners have garnered a lot of press in Philly, the team as a whole is still holding their own at the plate in general. They led the majors in on-base (.378) and were fifth in OPS (.784). They are even doing relatively well with runners in scoring position (.783 OPS). They are just getting topped by the offense of their opponents.

So what should the team do? Here's what I propose: Conquer time travel, and go back in time to this offseason. First, do not sign Adam Eaton. Second, do not trade for Freddy Garcia. Sorry to bail on you, Freddy, after one bad start, but given that the Phils have very little prospect of contending this season, getting a pitcher in his walk-off year is far from optimal. Trade Aaron Rowand for Joe Crede. I know that Rowand is hitting…now. It won't hold up for the season. Actually, trading him now would be a great fantasy move. His value will never be higher, and the Sox just lost Podsednik. Trade John Lieber for Alex Rios (both these trades were bandied about this offseason). Sign some honest to goodness veteran relievers. Oh, and stick Gio Gonzalez and Gavin Floyd in the rotation. Or give Ryan Madson a shot.

Eh, no plan's perfect. But something's got to give. Whether it's firing Manuel or pulling off an actual trade, something needs to change on this team. When your alleged strengths turn into major weaknesses, you've got trouble right here in river city.