Jason Kendall should be the happiest fellow on the planet. He is making $11,571,429 this season for being a sinkhole in the A's offense.

But instead of enjoying being one of a very limited number of players who have profited from a Billy Beane mistake, Kendall seems like one ticked off "A". Not only did charge the mound and unceremoniously Fosberry Flop on Angel John Lackey for a ball slightly high and inside. Now, he sour-grapes over having to accept his proper punishment, a four-game suspension, calling the majors "a badminton league"--though it should be pointed out that they soon will be employing pink bats.

To quote the eminent Mr. Kendall, "I understand I have to be suspended, but it's not like I went out and picked a fight. Nothing would have happened if he wouldn't have said anything to me, if he wouldn't have taken three steps hard at me."

I think that MLB should suspend Kendall for fifty games since he had to have violated their drug policy to believe any part of that statement.

[I]t's not like I went out and picked a fight…Ah, yes, it is. That's exactly what you did, Jason.

Nothing would have happened if he wouldn't have said anything to me, if he wouldn't have taken three steps hard at me… I don't know what the difference is between sharp and dull steps are—it may be like cheddar. But Lackey didn't take any steps. He stood in front of the mound after receiving the ball from the catcher. As for what Lackey said, I can't say, but I can't imagine what would be so provocative as to justify Kendall inciting a riot.

Speaking of when baseball will become a spectator sport for Kendall, that eventuality seems to get closer by the minute. Not only have his ratios been atrocious in two seasons in Oakland (currently .244/.360/.293), the man has failed to hit a home run in almost two seasons. His last dinger was on July 27 against the Braves when he still played for the Pirates, and that was, at the time, his first homer in a month.

As a matter of fact if Kendall can finish 2006 as the starting catcher of the A's and fails to homer, he will be the first regular player not to homer for two straight seasons since 1995. Here are the last men to do (or not do) it:

As for the last catcher to do it, you have to go back sixty years, and only a handful have done it since the deadball era:

Given that this is a player who once hit as many as 14 home runs in a season, and has 67 in his ten-year career, one has to wonder if Kendall has taken some sort of antidote for steroids. Of all the regular players to record two straight zero-homer seasons, only one hit more in any previous season. Here are the most homers hit in a previous season by such a player:

As for the career homers, for a catcher with two straight no-homer seasons, the previous high was Rick Ferrell's 28. Here are the most career homers for any regular player who failed to homer in two straight seasons: