The Long Beach Angels of Anaheim. That's the ticket. I like it.

The Angels ludicrous plan to recast themselves as the John Cougar Mellencamps of professional sports has been exposed for what it is, a fraud. The California Assembly is passed a bill to bar the Angels' "deceptiveness in sports advertising" by forcing them to publish their true home, Anaheim, on its "tickets, ads and other promotional material."

Now if I can just get the Pennsylvania Assembly to enjoin the Phils from saying they are a major-league team.

But at least the Angels are putting their best foot forward:

"Deceptive is a very strong word," Angels spokesman Tim Mead said. "The bottom line for the Angels is we're a month-and-a half into the season and our two primary focuses throughout this whole process has been our performance on the field and maintaining a consistently positive experience for our fans at Angel Stadium of Anaheim."

Angel Stadium of Anaheim?!? Come on, that's not deceptive especially when it's been known as Anaheim Stadium since 1966 (even while its name has been prostituted to Edison International).

Why don't we call a spade a spade and be done with it. They're the LA Clippers of Major League Baseball and they should be forced to call every stadium they call home Chavez Ravine since that was a made up name anyway.

And I thought that damn monkey was annoying a few years back. Now, the whole team's an annoyance, the blight of the baseball standings in the daily paper: "LAA". Bleck! A wild ass of a team. Maybe we should call them the Ishmaels.

The sound you now hear is Gene Autrey spinning in his grave.