The Red Sox traded Dave Roberts to the Padres for Jay Payton.

Hmmm…Interesting trade, you say. But wait.

They threw in Ramon Vazquez, who can play every infield position and once was the Padres' starting second baseman.

Still not enough? Well, Krazy Kevin is ready to throw in a prospect (David Pauley, a right-hander who is jut 22 but has been stuck in Single-A for three years).

To quote Spanky, "It's not enough…Call back later." Act now and you get $2.65 M and a Chia Pet.

For Dave Roberts? And he didn’t even get the best one. I'd rather have either of the Dave Robertses from the Eighties or the Philly weatherman, who's a local icon (and father to "Angel"'s David Boreanaz).

"We felt like one glaring need was a tablesetter, someone who can make things happen at the top of the lineup," said Padres general manager Kevin Towers, who predicted Roberts will steal 60 bases. "We needed to inject some speed. I'm also excited about his enthusiasm. He's a guy who's really a spark. He has tons of energy."

Huh, the Red Sox thought he was just a pinch-runner. And I guess the Padres did not notice when Roberts fell from putative All-Star (at least that's how the LA fans put it) to a supernumerary in less than two years. Oh, and his career high in steals is 45, at least in the majors. He had 65 in Single-A Visalia in 1996. I think that's near San Diego. Maybe it's a locale thing.

Then again, if Towers had kept Mark Kotsay, he wouldn't be in this position, but I digress.