(Just don't play it with "Chuck".)

In real life, unlike in Shakespeare, the sweetness of the rose depends upon the name it bears. Things are not only what they are. They are, in very important respects, what they seem to be.

—Hubert H. Humphrey, a man who he himself was named after a stadium

The Expos have yet to play their final game representing Montreal, and yetThe Washington Post is already polling its readers on the new Washington team's name.

Here are their options:

Bandits / Beltway Bandits



Bullets



Cicadas



Federals



Filibusters



Expos



Grays



Monuments



Nationals



Patriots



Senators



Snakeheads



River Rats / Dogs

The Senators is by far the most popular option with 40.2%. Next, is the Grays (21.8%), and Nationals (9.8%). All of these names refer back to old Washington teams. The Grays refers to the Homestead Grays, who played in both D.C. and Pittsburgh (though I believe more in Pittsburgh). By contrast, the "Expos" has gotten just 1.5% of the vote. Why not bring back "Olympics"? Besides, don't the Twins own the rights to "Nationals" (the old Senators real name) and the Rangers to "Senators"?

"Bullets" was used until 1997 by the NBA club now known as the "Wizards". It was changed when the owners felt that it was a little too apt, with all the incidents involving guns in certain sections of DC? (And what about the children, I say sarcastically?) Why bring it back?
As for the rest, they all seem pretty silly. I mean "Cicadas"? There was an independent team called the Lubbock Crickets a few years back, but that was a sly reference to the Buddy Holly band. What are they going to do, chirp to root on the local nine? I guess it beats the Braves fans' chop.

I hope that the real management will come up with better options than these. But then again, they might need a contest to name the owner as well.