Logic is not a body of doctrine, but a mirror-image of the world. Logic is transcendental.

—Ludwig "That one’s for you" Wittgenstein

Logic is a little tweeting bird chirping in a meadow. Logic is a wreath of pretty flowers which smell BAD. Are you sure your circuits are functioning correctly? Your ears are green.

—Star "Tom" Trek's Mr. Spock "Shea", trying, successfully, to incapacitate am android with contradictory statements.

Spock: Congratulations on a dazzling display of logic.

Capt. Kirk "Rueter": Didn't think I had it in me, did you?

Spock: No.

I was looking at an old book on logic problems and ran across one on baseball. It turned out to be a bit tricky so I thought I would present it here. The first person to get the correct answer wins the job of Phillies manager once the Phils' brass gets around to canning the bum (by the way, I did get the correct answer, but I don't want the job—Bowa's an impossible act to follow):

The Umpire Strikes Back

Ralph, an umpire for the minor league system, is very upset with today's players "Such prima donnas," he moaned. "They think they can undermine my authority and question every call I make." With that in mind, Ralph was determined that today he would eject from the game any player who argued his decisions. Thus, in the nine-inning game, Hank and four other players were thrown out of the game, each in a different inning, for a different reason (one was arguing the ball he hit was a home run, not a foul ball as Ralph had ruled). From the following clues, can you determine each player's full name (one was Mr. Player), the reason he was thrown out of the game, and the inning in which each ejection occurred?

1. Mr. Fielder was thrown out two innings before Lance and two innings after the man who argued he had been hit by a pitch.

2. Rusty was ejected two innings after the man who argued the catcher interfered with his swing and two innings before Mr. Singleton.

3. The man thought he was safe at home was told to hit the showers two innings before Mr. Walker and two innings after Mick.

4. At least one man was ejected more than two innings after Bubba.

5. Mr. Dinger, who did not argue a called third strike, was ejected in the third inning.

[Turn your computer upside-down for answer.]