You Can't Spell Egomanic without G and M

Cal Ripken has expressed his desire to become a GM, preferably with the Orioles. Current Oriole GM Syd Thrift's contract is up at the end of the year. Ripken expressed the interest to Peter Angelos, the owner--how serendipitous!

Ripken believing that all of swelling in his head caused by the press that he has received of late for having his streak named the Most Observable Occasion (or was it Most Discernible Deed? Salient Situation?) is actually an infusion of GM smarts (like those guys in the commercial who can play music like Kiss because they stayed at a Ramada--Confidentially, we can all play music as well as Kiss). He now believes that he can assume a role for which he has never trained nor even shown any inclination.

Ripken explains the involved thought process:

I don't want to manage right now, and coaching doesn't appeal to me. But if there was a job that I could shape a baseball organization or help shape a baseball organization, I certainly would look at that.

"Uh, either that or run the scoreboard to shape a baseball organization or help shape a baseball organization or supervise the baseball organizing shape thereof. That would be awesome." (disclaimer: these words were not actually uttered by Ripken. I just happened to receive them via my extra sensory power and felt compelled to report upon them.) It reminds me of the eposide of Seinfeld in which George is fired and he and Jerry are going through the want ads to find him a new job. Realizing that he has no discernible skills and no driving amibtion, George proposes that he become the GM of the Yankees since he likes baseball. (Funnily enough, years later George is poised to become just that when he screws up the deal with one of his machinations.) Of course, George didn't have the massive public persona, or ego, to help him fulfill his dream that Super Cal does.

I shouldn't be too hard on Cal. Ripken was gracious with his acceptance speech, er, offer:

The Orioles are my first choice. ... Before I looked at options elsewhere, I'd like to know whether that opportunity would be available to me here.

"Uh, Thanks, Cal, but we already have a GM: Sid Thryft. Would you look to manage in the minors, coach a bit at the major-league level, or how about serve as assistant GM to see if you have any talent in that area?"

Upon, hearing the counterproposal, Ripken packed up Camden Yards and with a "No, it's mine and you can't play with it" he was gone.